Saturday, April 12, 2008

Ramblings...

Moment of glory has a way of its own to enter human realization space. It often makes way in the culminating moments of actions, riding on horses or BMWs, depending upon which school of thought you come from and how many Clint Eastwood movies you have watched, driven by the dare-fluid ebbing in the scrotal sac. It comes rushing in, like a bullet or a flying arrow(s), again depending upon which school of thought you come from and how many Hindu Mythological epics you have watched, and has varying life spans.

Sometimes it lives a lifetime-the cocky man! And sometimes its evanescent - the humble man.

In the current Somalian struck days, for a beggar, this feeling can be engendered by his success at earning just one Rupee more than his average mean earnings for the day.

Hold on! Did I just say Somalian struck days?

Oh yes, I did! Have you evah heard of Somalia striking? You know, mmm… like you hear or read or breathe or fart or …woof…woof…USA striking!

Now, that’s what I call glorious!

Would that country, full of people who will never see me, never hear of me and would neither care a damn about it, if not for me, ever have had the good fortune of having the word ‘strike’ as its by standing neighbor in the milita…err…literary space?

Difficult!

Because by the time they come even close, after they have managed to kill most of their population from hunger and co and have brought the ratio of their population and the resources available in their country, to a healthy level, the rest of the world would be paying a whopping amount to the US of A for usage of this most solicited word, as the case would be and Nostradamus would agree, under the international patent law.

But I can bet that even Nostradamus’s calculations of the magical figure at which the patent can be won, which is derived from the number of times a nation / outfit/ group/ force/ etc (as innovative as a team can get) has, on merit, given the due honor of juxtaposing itself with the word in the form of sound or ink, would look like a spec in the air under the stellar performance of the Big Brother.

Irrespective of this futile delving-into, as our nuclear netas would protest, the power of this feeling is undeniably immaculate. You say you disagree! Well, I thought it was this very power that turned a normal human heel, which I thought is the same piece of bone fixed on most of the human bodies that I have seen, unless of course I have been imagining, into Achilles heel. Branding since the troy days you say, eh? Why just branding my dear friend? I say farting through the Troy days! Too long a fart to last, you say again? Hmmm…may be. But I can smell the stink brother!

We live in a modern world today. And if I were to ask you, ‘what is it that comes to your mind when you hear the word modern?’ most would say technology. Of course when I say most, I bring to speech pictures of strange looking robots living in the modern definition of parks (building for trees, swimming pools for lakes etc), who I have always imagined as having a wire at the rear end for the pre evolutionary tail, walking the streets, creating and breaking imaginary codes in the air.

Then there is another group, who would disagree with the above stated hypothesis. They would holler at the top of their voices, another entity that cannot be denied at least a mention, while talking about modern. This entity is slightly more evolved than a personal computer (in the way they look, I mean.). But it gets certainly more personal than its counterpart. It’s the modern woman, fellas! No prizes for guessing that. Come on. Don’t we see them E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E (dare you scratch out the loo or the top of the tree from that list!)? You dare not say ‘no’ if you aren’t one yourself for you might be convicted of supporting discrimination on grounds of jealousy or insensitivity or even a conspiracy.

Now, having successfully sacrificed a slice of my rear end at the altar of the fair end, I will continue talking about the other ubiquitous subject of consideration- the internet

For most part of my teenage and a good part of the subsequent pain-age, I always looked upon people surfing the internet as somewhat fishy. Believe it or not, but the first thing that would fly into my mind when I heard the term internet, was porn. And I strongly thought that everyone surfing the internet was doing so in order to watch porn. (Thank good heavens my father still doesn’t know how to use one!). Even now, in the second stage of pain-age, sometimes I still have that questioning look on my face when someone tells me that he was surfing the internet; especially if I he tells me so at 2:00 a.m. That raised left eye-brow look! And the desire to take a peek into the computer screens of others surfing the internet is irresistible. The joy of catching a friend chatting with ‘hot4u’ or ‘sizzlingbrownie’ and various such strangely named characters, is extraordinary. I agree that sometimes parents are harsh while naming their kids. For instance a guy called Dick should be protected and allowed by law to drag his parents to court when he realizes where his parents spent their creative energies. Look now how the torture pushes people to rechristen themselves with such luscious details about their good health! Tch Tch…

Coming back to the act of peeping into others’ computer, it is all about deriving comfort from knowing that you have company. We are but social animals, as is proved by a zillion members of the intelligentsia. And we seek company in whatever we do. Where do you think the concept of Orgy comes from? Exactly! See, you too can light a bulb even though your name looks nothing like Edison. You could be Muthuswami Krishnaswami Aiyangarswami Sivarman Venkat. But it is just about getting the right clue at the right time. Are you to blame for lack of ideas if you were born after everything was already invented? We should never worry about things that are not under our control. Like they say, keep doing your karma and never expect for results. Lack of ownership since the mythological days, I say!

We humans are a class apart. We know exactly how to safeguard our interests. And most of our interests lie in taking back life to the state of idleness.