It is such undiluted pleasure, to feel satisfied. And I realized its true value only today. Just when this term was losing its absolute existence in my life-book, it came knocking at my door step. Needless to say I welcomed it with open arms. And it flooded me, this sweet poison. I willingly drowned myself. I was overcome with this most divine feeling to such excess, that it is hard to express. I felt like Will Smith in the last scene of the movie, In Pursuit of Happiness. Even with hundreds of people around me on the road, as I walked to the restaurant to have dinner, I knew I was the one with a difference at that moment. And I knew I had made a difference to be knighted with it.
It felt as if I was being watched from somewhere far off. Some place where the entire universe is controlled from. All the spot lights were on me. And it was my turn at that moment to be bestowed upon with this most rewarding feeling. I bowed and embraced the honor.
I was suddenly scared I wouldn’t absorb every drop of it and the thought killed me. I couldn’t let it go; any of it. Especially when it came to me after one and a half years full. So I rushed to my apartment and sat in silence in the still of the night. I did not put on the fan and I put my mobile phone on silent mode. Because I wanted to hear it breathe inside me. With every breath I exhaled I thanked it for healing my soul. Nothing could have been better company in those moments.
What makes satisfaction so overwhelming is the mix of so many positive emotions- of joy, pride and relief, that it brings to us enveloped in one. It is this envelope that I wait for more than my pay cheque. And it’s rarity makes it even more desirable, almost obsessively. Its warmth will put me off to a beautiful sleep tonight. Of that I am sure.
And I guess now is the right time to allow myself to be lullabied. To feel it’s soft fingers ruffle my hair.
Peace, here I come.
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